It’s the perennial question, isn’t it?
What Do Women Want In Bed?
You only have to look at the number of times this question is typed into Google (thousands of times a month) to understand it really is on men’s minds a lot of the time.
Perhaps this fact testifies to the mysterious nature of women, a nature men are destined never to understand. In such circumstances, men do the only thing possible – they turn to the source of all human knowledge – Google – to get the answers about how to please a girl in bed!
But joking aside, there are guidelines for you which will please most of the women you know, most of the time.
And for those occasions when it all seems to go wrong, even though you’re doing what you thought women wanted? Well, you’ll just have to put that down to mysterious nature of women.
But please congratulate yourself first for wanting to know how to please your girl. It’s not in fact very difficult to satisfy a lady in bed – all you have to know is what women love. So, straight from the pages of YourTango.com, here are a few answers to that perennial question “what do women want in bed?”
Well, what do women want?
Number one. Above all, women live from their Lover Archetype – which means they have a deep need of love, connection and intimacy. But you as a man probably don’t have such a need for intimacy, or at least, it’s not as important to you. If you find intimacy difficult, there are several things you can do that will help please your woman and reassure her that, yes you really do like to pleasure her:
1) Whisper in her ear how sexy she is – tell her why you like to be with her. But do it with sincerity and feeling – that way, you’ll send a shiver down her spine.
2) Tell her why you think she’s beautiful – and please understand this goes well beyond tits and ass! Perhaps she has a beautiful smile, perhaps she has beautiful slate grey eyes. Perhaps the colour and texture of her skin are beautifully erotic to you. Come on guys, use your imagination! You always know, if you stop to think about it, which things women like to hear about themselves.
3) Ask her if she likes what you’re doing to her in bed. But get this: don’t ask her just because you want reassurance that you’re doing the right thing. Ask her because you want to know she’s enjoying what you’re doing.
Not all women like the same things in bed, so take the time to find out how to satisfy her and connect with her through touch and words (and anything else that occurs to you). Yes, if you thought you were going to get step-by-step guide here, I’m afraid you’re wrong – you have to put your heart and soul into seducing, wooing and satisfying a woman, rather than relying on a formula.
Number two. Enjoy foreplay with her.
Yes, we all know that men can move from soft to stiff, and their arousal from 0 to 100, in a couple of seconds, but we all know something else: women take a lot longer to get turned on.
And while a woman will appreciate a quickie once in a while, the question is, why aren’t you as a man, slowing down, making sure that you’r moving at her speed? That way you really can satisfy any woman in bed.
It’s been said time and time again, but I’m going to repeat it once more: to make sure a woman reaches orgasm, she needs between 20 and 30 minutes of foreplay (most of the times she’s making love).
So pleasuring a woman, if that’s your goal, requires you to slow down andhold your own urges back as you service her with sensuous touch, sweet words whispered in her ear, kisses (and how women love romantic kissing), masculine holding, and anything else that tickles her, er, fancy, so to speak, until she’s really aroused, and ready to orgasm. This is called foreplay!
And when she’s really turned on, you can either finish her off with tongue or fingers, or, if she’s ready for you, you can enjoy intercourse. By the way, if you do things in this order, only entering her when she’s really turned on, there’s a much greater chance she’s going to reach orgasm when you’re inside her. And if you’ve experienced that already, you’ll know it’s something which feels very good for both man and woman.
And that shared experience of orgasm is deeply bonding.
But either way, putting her pleasure first – which means making her reach orgasm first– is really satisfying, it’s a demonstration of your desire to please her, and boy will she ever appreciate it!
Video – Why (and How) Women Should Come First!
And of course when a woman appreciates what a man is doing to her, she’s more than ready to return the favour. Satisfying your woman in bed will have great rewards!
Number three. Be dominant. Or not.
Be careful here though, because not all women want their man to take a more – shall we say – forceful approach in bed. For this one you have to know your woman well. Some men are so respectful of their woman that they don’t use any of their masculine power in bed. But bear in mind that it’s just possible your woman is one of those who wants you to grab her and take control.
Now I’m sure you know this is different to full-on rough sex – it’s about running the show for a woman’s benefit, using your masculine power to pleasure her.
And of course, you also appreciate that a lot of women would like to have more control in bed, and played the dominant part from time to time.
Number four. Make sure she comes.
Refer back to number two above for more information on this. The point basically is this: if you’re no more interested in taking a woman to orgasm than you are in masturbating or using a blow-up doll, then you really haven’t discovered the secrets of satisfying a woman in bed! Truth is, both people need to reach orgasm during sex for it to be mutually satisfying. And of course that might not happen all the time, but it’s a good principle to keep in mind.
Number five. Don’t keep doing the same thing!
As you might have noticed by now, women seem to change their minds quite a bit – one day they’re feeling romantic, the next they’re feeling raunchy and sexual.
And of course, just to make things even more confusing for you, those things (sex and romance) aren’t mutually exclusive! And by changing things around, perhaps having sex in the countryside, or in different rooms in your house, or in your garden, you can keep things fresh. And don’t forget the benefit of adding few rose petals to the sheets or putting candles around the bathtub.
Number five. Toys can be useful in satisfying woman.
And of course there are many toys you can use – there’s are as many things to play with as your imagination permits you to explore. Gently tying her down, using vibrators to finish off… Go to the section ops in the world is your oyster. Satisfaction guaranteed!
Number six. Apparently a lot of women want gentle play on the pulse and clitoris.
What you can do is listen to her feedback and her body language (if she starts flinching, you probably playing too hard). Now you know you like forceful touch on your penis, but she might not like such pressure on her clitoris or her nipples. Tune in, listen to what she wants, and put on the right pressure. Communication is everything! And of course, you can ask. She can tell you.
Number seven. Last longer in bed!
Around half of all men experience premature ejaculation – which basically means they can’t control their ejaculation. Their body takes over!
And few men actually have the willpower to resist this, because the reward of ejaculation can be so satisfying (hang on, let’s check that: reward? Do you deserve a reward if she’s not come before you explode uncontrollably?)
If you put your mind to it, you really can learn how to control ejaculation. And rather than talk about how you can do that here, I’d like to refer you to the best resource on the Internet where you can learn the skills of complete ejaculation control: Lloyd Lester’s Ejaculation by Command.