Pleasing a woman isn’t difficult – it’s all about finding out what she wants, being sensitive to her needs, and then taking the time to give her what she wants.
The best thing about pleasing a woman is that if you satisfy her sexually, she’s going to be much more willing to give you pleasure – and believe me, making love to a turned-on woman who’s sexually satisfied is a lot more exciting than making love to a woman who isn’t aroused.
So if you don’t know how to arouse her, or it seems too difficult or too time-consuming to find out how to pleasure her, think again.
There’s one key point you need to understand. And knowing this can change everything for you as a man, so listen up!
Compared to men, women are slower to arouse, take longer to reach orgasm, and their arousal lasts quite some time after they’ve reached orgasm. That’s a generalization, but it’s generally true! And as a man, you’ll recognize this is very different to the way your sexual response cycle works: you are probably quick to arouse, quick to come, and quick to lose interest in sex.
Well, the curious thing is that when you spend time pleasuring a woman, focusing all your effort on arousing her, you’ll find your own arousal increases more and more, probably much more than normal, and by the time she’s reached orgasm, perhaps by finger play or oral sex from you, you’ll be so aroused that you can’t wait to enter her and enjoy intercourse with her.
And because she’s just had an orgasm, her body will be aroused, her mind will tell her that the most important thing is to connect with you physically, so she’ll be desperate to have you inside her, and making love to her will be far more intense and pleasurable for you. It’s a win-win situation.
But What Does Foreplay Really Mean?
The interesting thing is that her orgasm doesn’t have to be achieved by means of lengthy foreplay – which many men find boring. So maybe the word foreplay should be replaced by sex play or pleasure play.
Foreplay has a connotation of a man doing something to woman, without any reward for him; it sounds almost like a duty that a man has to do before he’s rewarded by the woman allowing him to penetrate her.
If you get away from this approach, and think of foreplay as mutual play that can turn you both on AND give her an orgasm, you’ll not only have the pleasure of bringing her to orgasm – which all men really enjoy – but you’ll also know that you’ve satisfied her, and you’ll have really enjoyable intercourse.
Pleasure Through Foreplay
Here are some simple techniques that can really please a woman, and they’re certainly satisfying to offer your woman when you’re making love.
Bear in mind these things will not only satisfy your woman in bed, but also show her you know how to pleasure your girl – which she knows means you care about her. (Nothing makes her more devoted than feeling cared for by you.)
So heads up men, particularly if you don’t know what women want in the bedroom – because you’re about to find out the best way to satisfy your woman in bed.
Begin with a massage. Using coconut oil or almond oil or grapeseed oil, run your hands right down the length of her legs, from her upper thighs to her ankles. Pay attention to her feet, gently massaging them, with particular attention to the spaces between the toes.
And do it slowly, do it thoughtfully, do it in a way which suggests your only intention is to find the best ways to give her pleasure in bed.
Now of course all women are different, so while we could give you a recipe of “instructions”, the best thing you can do is to find out precisely what you need to do to pleasure your girlfriend. In other words – ask her what turns her on!
The point being, the very fact you’re asking her will make her appreciate you all the more – because women really want their man to be interested in their welfare, sexual satisfaction and fulfilment. And, better, she’s gonna return the favor. Take my word for it – that’s how these things work.
Besides which, you might be surprised what she says – which could be more exciting still for you when you discover what turns her on!
And you’ve got to make it look like you’re really trying, like you’re really into it. If you’re being half-hearted about it, she’s going to notice and she’ll probably conclude you’re not interested in her pleasure. So as well as asking her what she wants, make sure YOU do what YOU want (provided she likes it of course!) If you want to stroke her back, or kiss her butt, or run your fingers through her hair …. give it a go!
A woman always senses when a man is enjoying what he’s doing – and that’s going to turn her on.
While the genitals – clitoris, vagina, vulva – and breasts are the obvious places men like to pay attention to a woman, it’s all too easy to go wrong. (Advice for men on stimulating the clit. And check out advice from a woman on the same subject.)
As you probably found out early in your sexual career, direct attention to the clitoris before a woman’s aroused can be painful rather than pleasurable.
It’s much better to rub along the one of the clitoris, or perhaps along both sides of the clitoris, with long sweeping massage strokes. And if you’re giving her oral pleasure, make sure you tease her by licking and sucking the clitoris a little bit, then moving your tongue around and about – you might find a particular spot on her vulva that drives her wild… the U-spot, for example (that’s the opening of her urethra in her vulva). Explore, and see what happens! Having her moan as you run your tongue over her urethral opening or the opening of her vagina is just about as big a turn on as you can get.
Knowing how to lick a woman is absolutely critical to satisfying any lady in bed – and believe me, oral pleasure is what women love in bed, more than almost anything else. Time and time again, women say that oral sex is one of their favorite sexual activities.
Men: oral pleasure is one of the best ways of satisfying a woman in bed.
There are some special techniques which can drive a woman wild – and one of them is circling your tongue around her clitoris, making figure-of-eight circles, moving from left to right and right to left and up and down – but whatever you do, make sure she’s responding with increasing arousal. You can tell if she’s getting more aroused because she’ll be moaning and groaning and thrusting her hips towards you.
One of the mistakes men make quite a bit with women is to think they can take what pleased their previous girl in bed and transfer it to their current lady. For any man pleasuring a woman, it’s essential to find out what the woman you’re with wants.
Pleasing women sexually isn’t difficult, but it does require you to be sensitive to each one as an individual. The most common question found on internet sex forums apparently is “What do women want in bed?”
Obviously, one of the things they want is a man who’s sensitive and caring and is going to pay attention to their sexual needs. If you do that, then you already know how to please her – it’s only matter of finding the right technique.
For example, how many of you would have thought of lying crosswise to her body, so that your tongue can approach her clitoris in a completely different direction? Worth trying? Sure it is, because anything different will produce different sensations in her clitoris, and the more variations you try, the more likely you are to find something that really excites her.
Men often don’t pay much attention to a woman’s labia. But they’re incredibly sensitive; as sensitive as your scrotum – and you know much you like having that licked!
One of the best ways to stimulate her inner labia is to put the lips between the tips of your thumb and forefinger, and then, with plenty of lubrication such as almond oil or coconut oil, make little circles as you move your fingers and thumbs up and down the length of the labia.
Most likely, you’ll find she really wants you to move your fingers (or tongue) all over her vulva, not to focus on one area – if you don’t know that already, ask her to demonstrate to you what she likes when she’s self-pleasuring (masturbating) and watch carefully – not only will you find that really turns her on, but you’ll get clear clues as to what pleases her when you’re pleasuring her with your fingers.
And of course at some point she’ll hopefully come (reach orgasm). You are going to bring her to orgasm – after which, perhaps with a few minutes’ rest for her to come back to earth, you’re going to get your chance to enter her and enjoy intercourse.
And while I know that that’s what all you guys are secretly wanting, bear in mind that if you’ve taken the trouble to get her to orgasm before you enter her, you’re going to enjoy intercourse much more because the inside of her vagina will be really swollen, moist and warm – which gives an erect penis the greatest pleasure possible!
But because her arousal decreases slowly, she’ll probably love having you inside her, and she might even get turned on again to the point of orgasm. You should find the best position for intercourse, the best position being probably the one that hits her G spot when you’re thrusting.
Some say the G spot needs finger stimulation, so you can be sensitive and touch it in the way that gives her the greatest pleasure. But trust me, what a woman really wants is to feel her G spot being stimulated by the ridge of your erect cock head – and to do that effectively, you need to find the right angle of entry.
That’s most likely going to be doggy style, with her head and chest on the bed and her hips and butt raised. You can put your hands on her hips and pull her towards you each time you thrust in.
Of course, not all penises and vaginas have the same angles, and so you may need to try different postures until you hit the one that’s really going to get her screaming or moaning with pleasure.
Problem. When she’s getting aroused again because you’re stimulating her G spot during lovemaking, it’s sometimes hard to keep control of your own orgasm.
There’s an answer, though. Take the time and trouble to pay attention to the subtle sensations that precede the very familiar feeling you get when you know you’re going to ejaculate. These are clues that’ll show you when to slow down or even pull out – and so delay your orgasm and ejaculation.
Oh no! I can hear you saying that’s going to spoil her fun, because as you know, when she’s getting turned on, she needs constant stimulation of her clitoris or G spot to keep her arousal high.
So yes, pulling out to save yourself from ejaculating can indeed sometimes slow her down – but if you start kissing, mouth-to-mouth, passionately, she’s likely to come back pretty quickly.
In the few minutes this buys you, your arousal will drop, and you can then enter her again and carry on thrusting… and if you’re still bothered about not being able to last long enough, try the coital alignment technique, where the angle of entry of your erection into her vagina changes to almost vertical, and you rock rather than thrust.
Another option is to try the side-by-side position, which helps to extend the length of intercourse quite a bit, yet still gives her plenty of stimulation. This is something to do with the angle of the penis in the vagina – the sensitive parts of your penis don’t get stimulated as much, but the sensitive parts of her vagina still get what they need.
This position comes highly recommended for men who can’t last long enough. As a pleasure tool, it works especially well if you apply plenty of lube, so there’s less friction on your cock.