Enjoy Intimacy, Enjoy Lovemaking
What Women Want In Bed
Happiness in a sexual relationship with a woman does not come about by chance. It comes about by making an effort to please your woman in bed. And because you care about her, she will feel a desire to pleasure you, and the mutual satisfaction this produces will create a better relationship all round.
How do you find out what to do? Easy. You see, if you ask women what they really want in bed, they almost all say the same things.
Take note, for these are the things you should be doing if you want to satisfy her in bed and enjoy the rewards of great sex for yourself!
How To Please Your Partner In Bed
1: Ensure she achieves orgasm before intercourse begins.
Very few women come from sexual intercourse alone, which means that for most couples, the woman’s pleasure needs to come first.
You can see all kinds of estimates around the Internet about how many women come during sexual intercourse, but it’s no more that 10% to 15% at the most. And it may well be lower than that. Which means that your woman is almost certainly not reaching orgasm during intercourse.
This means that even if she appears to be having an orgasm during intercourse, the sad news is that she may well be faking it.
Bottom line? No matter how tempting it may be to move quickly to intercourse, if you really want to give a woman the greatest pleasure in bed, you need to hold back on your desire to penetrate her.
Oh dear. Most men move towards intercourse as fast as possible. This usually involves a few minutes of perfunctory foreplay, a few minutes of kissing, a few minutes of breast stimulation, and a few minutes of oral “pleasure” for her.
Now, each of these could be getting her a little bit turned on, but each of them tends to be abruptly terminated just as she feels stirrings of pleasure. That’s because her man’s desire for his own pleasure means he wants to penetrate her vagina as soon as possible. (Women reading this can find advice on how to satisfy your man here.)
Sure, men are driven by the desire to reach orgasm and ejaculate inside a woman as fast as possible, and that’s because it’s very satisfying – but this is most definitely NOT what women want!
If you can get your head around the fact that the best way to please your woman in bed, to sexually satisfy her, in other words, is to give her an orgasm even before you’ve penetrated her, then you’re going to make a great lover.
When you do this, she’s going to be aroused and turned on for you, she’s going to think the sex is great, and she’s going to give you a lot of happiness in return.
And that, my friend, is true, even if you don’t last as long as you want in bed.
Yes, let it be said right now, loud and clear, that premature ejaculation isn’t such a big deal if you take the trouble to bring your woman to orgasm before you enter her.
And in reality, giving a woman an orgasm before you enter her makes intercourse much more pleasurable for you. After she has orgasmed, her vagina will be swollen, warm and wet. This will give you greater physical pleasure than if you just plunge into her before she is truly aroused.
Giving a woman an orgasm before intercourse begins is not only the best way to please a woman sexually, but it’s also a win-win strategy for you both.
2: Pay attention to ALL of her erogenous zones.
Most men don’t take much time or trouble to learn which areas of their woman’s body are sensitive to sexual stimulation.
Every woman is different, of course, just like every man is different, although most women find gentle stimulation of the breasts, clitoris and G spot sexually pleasurable.
But what men don’t appear to understand is that every square inch of a woman’s skin is an erogenous zone, or can be, if her man knows how to stimulate it.
So if you take the time and trouble to find the “hidden erogenous zones on your woman’s body, you’ll find that you can give her more pleasure than you ever imagined possible. Because a woman’s entire skin is a sexual organ, when you caress and kiss her sensitively or passionately with sexual intention, she’s going to get turned on. And that’s going to make her more sensitive to stimulation on her breasts and vulva, her clitoris and vagina.
So if you’re a man who takes the time and trouble to discover the erogenous zones on your partner’s body, you prove you know how to please a woman in bed. This will make her respect you and appreciate you as a lover.
3: Discover the right way to dominate your partner.
Most men don’t know how to dominate a woman in bed. This needs to be done in a way that’s going to satisfy her and fulfill her deepest desires to surrender to a man who’s powerful, strong, and above all, safe and trustworthy.
Dominating a woman in bed doesn’t mean copying some of the crude and disgusting behaviour you can see in porn videos. It means respecting a woman, while also understanding that the sexual dynamic between the man and woman is about “taking” and possessing, and “surrendering” and being possessed.
Men are so removed from the full expression of their natural sexuality in our society that even the words “taking” and “dominating” can send a shiver of fear through both men and women. (For a male point of view on this, read this.)
Stop regarding a woman as an object with which you can simply have sex! You do this every time you move forward as rapidly as possible to penetration and intercourse, Taking her without considering her needs, and plowing away with no finesse or sensitivity are the attitudes and actions of a weak, insensitive man.
What your woman wants from you is strength, masculinity, power, and control (sometimes).
That’s why you need to build up sexual tension by caressing, kissing, making the suggestion of sexual contact and then withdrawing.
As her sexual tension increases, her expectation of sexual fulfillment and pleasure will increase right along with it, right up to the point where she will be practically begging you for pleasure, for gratification, for orgasmic release.
4: Oral pleasure is many women’s favorite sexual activity.
When you’re giving her oral pleasure, don’t just dive in and stimulating her clitoris with your tongue! Instead, slowly kiss along her inner thighs, breath gently on her vulva, and perhaps ever so lightly run your tongue over and around her vulva. This will tease her until she’s so aroused that she’s begging for the release of orgasm.
Get this guys! Women really want oral pleasure. In fact many women find it far more satisfying than intercourse. So, my man, if you’re not giving a woman the pleasure she wants in bed with your mouth, lips and tongue, then something is seriously wrong with your relationship.
Even better, if you bring her off with your tongue on her clitoris before you penetrate her, you’re both going to enjoy intercourse much more afterwards. She’ll be wet, warm and ready for you. And even better, she’s going to want to please you in bed, in return.
She’ll also feel much more intimate and bonded with you.
The truth is, your woman will love you if you give her oral sex. You need to do it unselfishly, without the objective of “turning her on” so she’s ready for intercourse. When you do that, you show you know how to please a woman in bed. And she’ll be very happy to show how grateful she is!
5: Turn her on with your words.
Are you the strong silent type? Or do you have the courage to express your feelings and desires in bed? Do you understand how easily you can turn a woman on by talking dirty to her ?
Some men avoid talking dirty – a true expression of their sexuality – because they’re frightened of what women are going to think.
Indeed, most men say very little in bed, until the point where they grunt or shout as they ejaculate. That’s not the most romantic expression of love, and certainly not the best way to please a woman, either in bed or out of it!
After all, you guys know how much women like to hear what you’re thinking. So imagine a man who says nothing in bed – how weird is that for a woman? The woman he’s with isn’t even going to know if he’s enjoying sex or not.
In fact, for a woman, a silent man is a real turn off. Screaming her name when you come might be a bit over the top, but don’t be frightened of talking dirty in bed! Even the sweetest goddess of love harbors a dirty sex devil just waiting to get out.
Your job, as a man, is to find out how to liberate her devil. I’ll give you a clue – being vocal in bed is one of the easiest ways to do it. Yes, along with touching every inch of her body, being romantic, kissing her, and making sure she comes before you enter her.
Ways To Sexually Satisfy Your Woman In Bed (Part 2)
6: Keep eye contact with her while you pleasure her.
Sure, some women can’t take the intense intimacy of prolonged eye gazing. On the other hand, looking deeply into your partner’s eyes at the moment of orgasm is an extremely powerful experience.
If your lovemaking takes place in the dark, think again. The best sex takes place with the lights on, which allows intimate connection physically, emotionally and spiritually with your partner. That connection’s helped by the fact that when you look in your partner’s eyes, you convey your love and show your desire to please her, to take her to orgasm.
If she seems frightened of this, or she turns away, or can’t sustain prolonged eye gazing, then start by introducing it gradually. Spend a few minutes gazing into each other’s eyes before looking away.
An amazing experience is to keep your eyes open as you come, or even better, as you both come together. If you look into each other’s eyes at the moment of orgasm, you may experience something magical.
7: Pay attention to her after enjoying pleasure together.
Many guys feel tired or sleepy after they’ve climaxed (though some feel the need to get up and do something!) But a woman feels intimately connected to you after making love. That’s the time to cuddle her, enjoy the feeling of the oxytocin rush, and perhaps go to sleep together.
It’s true that after intimacy, a woman wants to be held, and wants you to be close to her. She wants to feel the intimacy, the connection, the love between you. And as you know, this is a time when you feel very loving towards your partner.
So instead of turning away from her, hold her close. You can please her more during the “afterglow” by staying close to her and holding her. Don’t forget to murmur a few sweet words about how much you love her and how attractive she is.
8: Remember she wants to please you as well!
Men can get obsessed with giving a woman pleasure (bringing her to orgasm). And that’s fine, but always remember the same is true in reverse: your woman wants to please her man in bed as well.
As far as you’re concerned, the truth is you don’t have to “perform” well in bed. You just need to be a sensitive lover, because that will go a long way to satisfying most women.
Read this article if you want to know why it’s so important for a man’s ego to please a woman sexually. Here’s an extract to give you the flavor: The study of 810 men (average age 25) found that women’s orgasms often function as a masculinity achievement. The participants said that making a female partner orgasm enhanced their feeling of masculinity, and this effect was exacerbated among men who reported more stress about their gender roles.
For most women, part of giving pleasure to a man is about giving him a blow job. You might well be surprised to find how much your lover wants to pleasure you in this way. But she may be shy about showing it, or perhaps have some doubts. (And some women do not like giving oral but do it to satisfy their man.)
If your woman does have some doubts about oral sex you need to make sure it’s pleasurable for her, you have to do certain things.
First, be very, very clean, especially under your foreskin. Second, trim your pubes. Third, take the time to pleasure her orally before you ask her to return the favor. Fourth, don’t expect her to deep throat you. Above all, don’t force her head down your shaft.
You may need to please a woman with oral before you even think about asking her to go down on you. That way she’ll probably be much more eager to get right down on you when you’re craving it.
And here’s a creative idea! If you can manage it and she’s willing, why don’t you gently use a vibrator on her as she goes down on you? That way, she builds up an association between giving you pleasure and experiencing her own pleasure.
One suggestion I’ve heard is to get a vibrator which can be inserted inside her vagina with a long cord and a remote control. Then, as you get pleasure from fellatio, you can turn up the pleasure she receives from the vibrator inside her vagina.
9: Take the time to discover how to give your woman an orgasm.
Kike we said, many men simply do not know how to make a woman come (or, worse, care about her pleasure).
However, as a man, it’s your job to go out and find a way to please her in bed. And doing so will be even better for your relationship. Nothing helps a couple bond both in bed and out of it as much as the man showing his love, respect and care by taking the time to give his partner an orgasm!
10: Simply be yourself, and be honest with her.
When you’re trying to impress a woman, trying to put on a great sexual performance, or trying to be a something you’re not, there’s a problem. You aren’t being the genuine person your woman wants in her bed.
She doesn’t want a faultless superhuman to have sex with her. What she wants is sincerity and genuineness. Maybe that’s best represented in the body language and energy you showed when you first met her?
But one thing’s for sure: she doesn’t want a man trying so hard to please her in bed that he forgets sex is about intimacy and connection.
In other words, just relax, guys! Take the time to discover what your woman needs and be sensitive to her needs. And above all, be confident.