Well guys, I guess you’re reading this because you want to be a better sexual partner.
So here are some tips straight from a female sex therapist about female sexuality.
In general, knowing how to please a woman is about being a better sexual partner.
You see, pleasing a woman is just like any other skill: it takes time, effort, practice and information.
A lot of blokes come to the bedroom with the assumption that they are wonderful lovers. They may not even take the time and trouble to find out exactly what their woman wants in bed.
Maybe that’s why, if you listen to women, may of them think men are rubbish lovers who don’t know how to meet their needs.
1 Know What You’re Doing!
There are many books on the market which might help you be a better lover. There are plenty of videos on YouTube if you prefer to get information visually. Here’s one of them.
This might help: Coital Alignment Technique Video
She Comes First by Ian Kerner is a great book; it’s all about the necessity – or, perhaps better put, the advantage – of giving a woman an orgasm before penetrative sex begins.
That really is one of the best techniques you will see in your search about how to please a woman.
The book isn’t just about refining your oral sex technique, although that’s how it’s been billed. It’s really about engaging in sex in such a way that a woman is truly going to be satisfied and pleased – and reach orgasm – almost every time you get into bed with her.
Learning about things like this is fun. The rewards you get from pleasing a woman are so much greater!
2 Respect the Fact That Your Partner Is Unique
You may think all women are the same! So are you treating your current partner like your previous partners? Big mistake!
Because what pleased your previous girl, what made her orgasm, may not work at all for your current partner. Most likely, your current partner needs to be satisfied and sexually pleased differently to your previous partner.
Your responsibilities with a new partner are about getting to know about her as an individual, and discovering how to give her pleasure in bed. In other words, how to give her an orgasm.
One way is to ask, simply and in a relaxed way, questions like “Is this a good way to touch you?”
She should provide feedback on how things are feeling and what she’d like.
You can also use your own intuition and sexual skills here. For example, check out what’s going on when she starts breathing more heavily or moaning slightly. Take the hint when her body starts moving in a way which suggests she wants more of the same, or a different, touch.
Above all though, don’t assume what pleased your past sexual partners will please her!
Previous experiences can be a good way of building sexual skills. However, if you assume you can transfer your sexual skills from a previous relationship into your current one, you’re heading for trouble.
3 Female Sexuality Is Different To Male Sexuality
You just have to accept that sexual pleasure is different between men and women.
For example, it takes a woman much longer to get aroused than it takes you to get aroused. That’s just the way it is.
What you, as a man, need to do here is to find out how to arouse a woman in a way that’s good for her and not boring to you.
If you’re not prepared to spend the time to please a woman sexually in bed, then why are you in bed with her in the first place? Just to satisfy your own urges?
Such a selfish attitude isn’t going to help you establish a relationship. Nor is it going to get you back into bed for more sex with this woman.
She certainly isn’t going to be too pleased about your chauvinism.
So, bottom line, if you want to be a good partner, then respect the fact that men and women are different. Start by working out what you have to do to please the woman you’re with right now.
4 Make Sure That You Really Do Care About Pleasing Her
Of course this isn’t just about bringing her to orgasm ad satisfying her sexually.
It’s more about finding out what makes her tick, what she likes, what she wants from you, and basically how you can make the experience good for her in bed.
Then you can find the best way for her to return the favor. After which, she’ll want to discover how to please you in bed.
When men and women are in bed together, there’s an unspoken contract. This is about mutual satisfaction and sexual pleasure. Even if you’re in a casual sexual relationship, or a hook up, there still needs to be some investment on your part in the woman’s pleasure.
So it’s just as well you can make yourself feel good by making another person feel good!
So spend time focusing on her body, tell her the sweet things she wants to hear, and make her feel like something special, not just a cheap lay. Don’t slut-shame her.
And besides which nothing turns a man on more than a woman who is highly aroused. So you’ll naturally want to make the effort to arouse her, hear her moan with pleasure, and make her come.
5 No Pressure When It Comes To Orgasm
Be careful not to put too much pressure on your woman about reaching orgasm.
Of course you want to see her orgasm. You might want to feel her orgasm, if you happen to be inside her at the time she comes.
Remember that orgasm can be much more difficult to achieve for a woman than for a man. When you’re asking yourself how you can satisfy a woman, don’t assume that it’s all got to do with bringing her to orgasm. Don’t think it’s about simply knowing the tricks that will please a woman, either.
For her, pleasure might simply be the intimacy and connection with you.
Of course your pleasure and hers are both important. But even if she doesn’t reach orgasm, don’t shame her by saying something like “My ex reached orgasm every time!”
You know this isn’t true, and in any event what’s the point of saying it, except to make her feel inadequate or bad?
If there’s no sign of your partner reaching orgasm, say something like “I can keep on doing this for as long as you want – but please tell me when you feel ready for me to stop.”
Or, if you don’t think that’s enough, tell her directly: “I really want you to have pleasure, but at the same time I don’t want to put any pressure on you to reach orgasm.”
Take it from me, that kind of statement is going to go down better with most women than being silent on the subject, not discussing it, or asking her if she came yet.
But you wouldn’t do that, would you?
6 Communication Is Everything
As you’ve probably have realized, good sex depends on real intimacy. Real intimacy depends on good communication.
Communication, whether verbal or non-verbal, is at the root of all great sexual pleasure in the bedroom. It lets you tell your partner what you need and want and like. It also lets her to tell you what she needs and likes and wants.
It also allows you to provide feedback on how things are going, so you can both be sure that you’re enjoying the same things.
For example, while it can be really hot to talk dirty, some women don’t like it. If you have different ideas about things like this, you need to talk about it! This is how good communication lets you establish the boundaries of what’s acceptable and what’s not.
Lower down the page, you can see some information about sexual communication.
7 Show Sensitivity Around Body Issues
As you might know from your own experience around penis size, body issues can be a source of guilt, shame and anxiety.
They can also be a source of pride, of course, and if you have a big penis you might know that.
Similarly women can be proud of large breasts or ashamed of small ones.
But what’s different for women is that every single body part of a woman is fair game for the media and the culture we live in. This tends to denigrate women who don’t achieve some mysterious standard of perfection.
So if your woman hasn’t got a flat stomach, perky boobs and a well shaped ass, then make sure you’re sensitive. Don’t make her sense of body shame any worse than it already is.
Most men really don’t understand the social pressure women come under around their bodies. Even the female genitals are often described as “looking weird” or smelling bad, either explicitly or implicitly.
Sure, you may not be responsible for increasing your woman’s confidence. On the other hand if you don’t appreciate your woman’s body for what it is, then why are you making love to her?
On a more practical level, offering simple reassurance about how she looks can make a woman feel more comfortable in the moment. That in turn can make her relax into the experience of sex – which is bound to give you more pleasure!
So when you’re taking off her clothes, comment favorably on her body. If you’re down there between her legs, tell her what a wonderful taste and smell she has and how much it turns you on.
8 Keep in Mind the Concept of Sex Positivity
OK, so we know you’re a good guy, and you’re reading this because you really want to be able to satisfy your girl.
Obviously want to know how to please a woman in bed. But please, please, remember that female sexuality is denigrated and shamed everywhere in our society. As a result, most women feel somewhat unsafe with a man they don’t know well when they are naked in bed.
For her to enjoy her encounter with you, and not feel like she’s being slut-shamed, you need to respect her in every way.
That includes respecting her boundaries, not objectifying her body, and certainly not calling her names.
What you need to do is to keep your judgments to yourself. Behave and speak respectfully. Ensure you treat the woman you are with in the way you would expect your mother or sister to be treated by another man.
Sex positivity isn’t difficult – it’s about mutual respect. It’s about seeing a woman as a person rather than a sex object. It’s about being kind and considerate towards her. It’s about ensuring she gets just as much pleasure and satisfaction in bed as you do.
This study in a scientific journal http://spr.sagepub.com shows that couples who communicate easily during sex have a much higher level of sexual satisfaction., They are also generally pleased with their experience together. Read more about this here.