Pleasuring During Intercourse

We know there are two different nerve supplies to the pelvic area, and these apparently produce different types of orgasms.

As Betty Dodson says: Clitoral (and penile) orgasms result from stimulation of the pudendal nerve pathway, while orgasms that result from G spot, vaginal, and rectal stimulation often involve the pelvic nerve. Stimulating the pelvic nerve, via the rectum, can also lead to pleasure in some surprising ways. 

Female sexual anatomy
Female sexual anatomy

But despite the hype about anal orgasms and breast orgasms (to name but two) we don’t really know whether women can have more than two types of orgasms: clitoral and vaginal.

What’s certain is that men and women enjoy different feelings of pleasure in response to stimulation of different parts of the body. Let’s explore this, and find out whether or not this has any bearing on how to please your wife in bed!

Remember that most women reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation. For most women, the orgasms they achieve this way can be intensely pleasing on a physical level. Other orgasms such as those enjoyed with G spot stimulation seemed to have an emotional component as well.

The Clitoris Is The Source Of Greatest Pleasure

And the fact remains that for most women clitoral stimulation is the route to orgasm. This is why a large majority of women can’t orgasm during intercourse.

You see, the clitoris is usually not stimulated during intercourse. Of course, if you or your partner chooses to stimulate the clitoris manually or with a vibrator during intercourse, the results can be very pleasurable.

coital alignment technique
The Coital Alignment Technique – the link below has full details of how to please a woman using this variation of “man on top” or “missionary” position intercourse.

One way of achieving orgasm during intercourse is to use the coital alignment technique (coital alignment is described here).

Here, the man and woman move their bodies in a specific way which stimulates the clitoris. This is one way in which a woman may come while her man is inside her during intercourse. 

Truth is, clitoral stimulation is the way most women reach orgasm, although a lot of women like to have something inside their vagina the same time. Is that because this produces G spot stimulation as well?

Many women can’t reach orgasm in any other way than clitoral stimulation. But please don’t take that to imply meaning a clitoral orgasm is somehow “less satisfying” or less pleasing than any other kind of orgasm. Most women would say that clitoral orgasms can be incredibly powerful and very satisfying for a woman.

In fact, clitoral orgasms are ranked as favorite even among women who can come in other ways.

The key to successful pleasuring here is to simulate the clitoris both directly and indirectly. This becomes even more true as a woman becomes more aroused and her clitoris more erect.

Men: foreplay is essential for getting a woman aroused to the point where she is able to orgasm through direct clitoral stimulation.

oral stimulation of clitoris
Clitoral stimulation may be best delivered with lips and tongue…

During intercourse, the clitoris receives very little direct stimulation from the penis. That’s why so few will women reach orgasm during intercourse from thrusting alone. 

What about the other types of orgasm?

First of all, let’s look at the G spot. Not literally, perhaps, because it’s quite difficult to see unless you happen to be the partner of a woman whose G spot drops down to the mouth of vagina during sexual arousal.

Female sexual anatomy
Female sexual anatomy

Interestingly, even though many scientific studies have been done on this, there’s still debate about what the G spot is. However, between 10% and 30% (take your pick!) of women can experience orgasm with G spot stimulation alone.

Women who can come this way are enjoying a vaginal or G spot orgasm. Lots more women reach orgasm through vaginal stimulation from a well-placed finger, when this is combined with clitoral stimulation.

These women say G spot orgasms feel very different. And that’s the point, maybe: if applying pressure to this part of your body feels good, then why wouldn’t you do it?

Sidebar: Tantric therapists often say that women who can’t come through vaginal stimulation of the G spot are holding sexual tension and blockages. It’s certainly true that the first time a woman has her G spot stimulated, she can release all kinds of repressed emotions. There may be truth in the idea that this is a nerve centre. I’ve also heard a lot of men talk about how their women have become vaginally sensitive as well as clitorally sensitive. Often this is due to loving support, heart connection, and gentle stimulation and  energy healing of the G spot. So maybe the women who can’t yet reach orgasm through vaginal stimulation during intercourse can develop that skill with a loving partner to help them. That could certainly explain why different people might see clitoral and vaginal orgasms as different things.

If you and your partner want to explore your partner’s G spot, the best way is to use a very well lubed finger. Make a “come hither” motion or use a gentle massaging motion on the surface of the G spot. You will feel it change from a ridged, rough area to a smooth swollen area as a woman becomes more aroused.

Plenty of lube is necessary. You can maximize the pleasure of her orgasm by stimulating the labia and clitoris at the same time as the G spot.

Anal Intercourse

Video – anal intercourse

Now what about anal intercourse? We know that the anus and anal canal are very sensitive areas, full of nerve endings linked to the nerve systems responsible for orgasm.

Gentle stimulation of the anus, anal canal and rectum apparently can lead to orgasm. I guess a woman would have to be very relaxed and accepting of penetration in this part of her body to achieve orgasm in this way.

U Spot Orgasms

The urethral opening – sometimes called the U spot – on a woman’s vulva offers a great way of pleasuring a woman.

the female genitals
Female genitals

This is because it’s surrounded on three sides by parts of the clitoris. (The clitoris is much bigger than most people understand, extending both downwards and sideways around the vagina.) In addition the opening of the urethra itself is surrounded by very sensitive tissue. Many women find stimulation of this area – particularly during oral pleasuring – to be a superb source of sexual pleasure.

The A Spot

This is another area inside the vagina called the anterior fornix zone. This is on the front wall of the vagina, somewhere up towards the belly button.

A lot of women experience great pleasure when this area is massaged or pressed, either because it’s very sensitive or because it’s adjacent to the clitoris or G spot. Thrusting on the A spot can lead to the pleasure of what Deborah Sundahl has called the uterine orgasm. However, a lot of women experience pressure in this area from their partner’s penis during sex as very uncomfortable.

There’s no straightforward “recipe” for orgasms produced from stimulaiton of body parts other than the clitoris. Pleasuring in these “alternative” ways depends on a woman’s sexual experience, her sexual preferences, and no doubt many other factors as well.

Even so, there’s plenty of evidence that some women can reach orgasm through vaginal stimulation during intercourse.

This requires a man who can control his ejaculation, even a man who can thrust for a long time before he explodes in his own pleasure. But in providing this service to his partner he can give her the greatest pleasure in bed she may ever have experienced.