The Importance of Communication In Pleasing Your Partner

Good Communication During & About Sex

This isn’t always the easiest thing in the world, but there are some simple techniques you can use, both verbal and non-verbal, that can make sex a lot more pleasing and satisfying for both of you.

1 Guide Your Partner Where Necessary

If you’re not getting the right level of kind of stimulation from your partner, then take his or her finger or hand and actually show him or her what you would like to have happen – and how. 

Non-verbal communication like this can be very helpful when it’s combined with the right words: “I like the pressure you’re putting on there” or “I would like you to move more slowly” – or even, if it comes down to it te simple “faster” or “slower” can all help you to please her and vice versa.

We’re all looking for satisfaction in the form of an orgasm during any sexual encounter. However, research shows that women tend to experience orgasm during casual hookups much less frequently than men.

It’s only when a couple been going out for quite a while that this orgasm gap diminishes, and men and women start to achieve orgasm at the same rate (almost equal, in fact).

So, knowing that, her are some tips you can use to ensure you’re better in bed than her last lover!

1 Don’t Ask Her “Did You Come Yet Dear?”

Let us start by reminding you that it’s always a bad idea to ask if a woman if she has come. 

And asking her if she’s going to come is just about as bad.

Man coming with woman on top
Asking your partner if they came yet is tactless. Try working it out yourself from their body language.

It puts way too much pressure on a woman, it isn’t very pleasing for her,  and in any case orgasm isn’t always what women are looking for from a sexual encounter.

Besides which, if a woman has difficulty reaching orgasm, you can bet that asking her how she’s doing going in her search for sexual satisfaction isn’t going to help very much.

2 Communicate Openly

If you’re really enjoying what your partner is doing to give you pleasure, then let them know with little noises, moans and movements.

You can have a lot of fun moaning, squirming or doing whatever feels right – and that’s the best way to let your partner know if what he or she is doing is really pleasant for you.

If you’re particularly nervous about expressing your pleasure verbally, then physical expressions (moving, moaning, squirming) can be a great way to communicate that you’re feeling good.

After all, anybody who’s taking the time and trouble to stimulate you, whether manually, orally, or even during intercourse, needs to know if what they’re doing is desirable and pleasurable for you.

And in particular, if you’re not happy about what’s going on, TELL THEM!

unhappy couple in bedroom
Poor communication leads to problems in the bedroom.

3 Respond Sensitively

If you find that your partner is doing something you really don’t like, then don’t make some kind of disgusted noise – do something more constructive (and adult) like telling them what you’d prefer them to do.

So if a woman is licking your ear in a way that isn’t really exciting for you, or is indeed putting you right off, then tell her: “I’ll tell you what really excites me, it’s when somebody kisses my toes.” Or, as you’re a man, you can tell her directly how to please you in bed

Just remember that everyone feels a bit vulnerable in bed, and if you’re not quite sure what a woman wants or you don’t know what to do to please a woman in bed, the simplest way to  find out is simply to ask her!

Man and woman staring at each other in bed
How well do you communicate about sexual matters?

4 Dirty Talk

Talking dirty is something that can be quite challenging if you don’t know your partner well.

But on the other hand, it can be challenging if you do know your partner well, too.

However, if you’re so inhibited about using sexual language in bed that you don’t say anything, that can be really unnerving as well!

Sure, quiet sex can be fun, but talking dirty can be even better.

And if you don’t know where the boundaries of what’s acceptable and what’s not acceptable to your partner lie, start with something delicate and move up from there. For example: “I really like your tits” might be good way to start, and if that goes down well, move onto “And your c*nt is f*cking amazing.”

How she reacts to this will probably give you a very good notion of what’s acceptable and what isn’t. But overall, if you’re sensitive to the feedback a woman gives you, both verbally and nonverbally, then you really shouldn’t have any trouble.

5 Feel Free To Say No And Let Her Say No

You can always say no to anything at any time.

So can she. And you must respect it.

Summary

To sum all this up, we can say that communicating about sex isn’t easy – and that’s true sometimes even with a partner you know well and love deeply.

Like most people you may well feel uncomfortable openly discussing sexual issues in the bedroom. So what would make this easier for you?

Because you know the importance of communicating with your partner (otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this) – you may know that a lot of the best sex advice on the net is specifically about good communication.

It’s fair to say that if you’re trying to please somebody in bed, and they’re trying to do the same for you, good communication is needed.

You can do express your sexual wants and needs non-verbally or verbally, but bear in mind that you don’t need to talk about sex just inside the bedroom. It’s going to make sex much better for you if you can talk about sex before you even get into a sexual situation.

One recent study from researchers at Indiana University found that being able to enjoy good sexual communication is a significant contributor to sexual satisfaction,  knowing how to please your partner, and even your wider relationship satisfaction.

Couple in bed talking about sex
Talking openly about sex can make it much better when you do it!

How To Be Relaxed When You Talk About Sex!

The first thing you need to know is how to be relaxed whent talking sexually with your partner.

This is particularly true for men, because most of the discussion men have about sex tends to be “locker room talk”, or joking crudely with the boys.

So, to start: if it’s too embarrassing even to say the words you want to use for sexual parts of the body directly to your partner, practice saying them as you face yourself in a mirror. Corny, maybe, but it works in reducing your inhibitions and your shame and you’ll find it a lot easier to  express your sexual ideas, wants and needs!

And remember, we all have the same body parts, and the embarrassment and shame we feel about them is something given to us by other people.

If you can shed your shame and embarrassment around talking about sex, you’ll also find it easier to please a woman in bed and receive pleasure in return.

Another idea:, you could write notes to each other or even try texting. For example, you could send your partner a text message telling them something about your sexual preferences.

You might want to try saying something like “When you do XXX, it really turns me on. Looking forward to the next time.”

Or if you want to ask for something specific, and it’s too embarrassing to say it, you could ask in a text message.

In days gone by we would have written a letter or a note. And that’s still a great idea, because you can say a lot more in a letter or note than you can in an SMS text message!

Needless to say, if you’re not accustomed to talking about sex, it can be quite challenging to discuss sexual matters with your woman the first time you try.

But to please a woman in bed, you need to know what she likes and what she wants. So you need to sit down at some point and talk to your partner about this.

Start the discussion when you’re feeling comfortable, intimate and connected. You can then make the discussion as sexy as you like by using sexual or nonsexual language as you prefer.

You see, this matters because you’ll only get what you want in bed if you are able to express your sexual needs and desires to your partner!

Communication is the key here: it contributes massively to relationship satisfaction.

Why? Because the simple and straightforward fact that you and your partner talk about how to please each other in bed gives you more chances of being able to do just that!