For those of us who’ve had plenty of sexual experience, a couple of studies about sexual pleasure published in 2012 in the Journal of Sexual Medicine might not be a complete surprise.
Size – Does it Please Women?
The first of them is that apparently size – yes, I’m talking about penis size! – does matter, at least to some women.
We must be careful about any article published online. There’s always pressure on researchers to find subjects to write about and articles to publish, but let’s take this at face value. (The risk is of dubious science, in other words!)
The researcher in question, Stuart Brody, defined the average length of an erect penis as 5.8 inches, which completely agrees with my own research.
He then asked women if they experienced more sexual pleasure with men who had a longer or shorter penis than average.
He found that women had more vaginal orgasms during intercourse when they were making love with men who had longer-than-average penises.
Now I’ll say straight away that there are a number of problems for me around this. One is the implication that men with a longer than average penis tend to please their women more in bed.
To start with, there have been previous studies which demonstrate that women find penis girth more important than penis length in terms of sexual pleasure. That certainly has a logic to it, because penile girth would stretch the opening of the vagina more. This might well produce more sensation than penile length.
On the other hand, a longer penis can stimulate the cervix. And that’s known to be an essential trigger for blended orgasms. This is a kind of orgasm which results in stimulation of not only the pelvic (clitoral) nerve but the pudendal (genital) nerve as well. Blended orgasms feel much more sexually satisfying for a woman.
On the other hand, women who experience vaginal orgasms tend to be sexually experienced. This implies that quality of orgasm may be a function of the time a woman spends developing her sexuality and sexual responsiveness.
So it remains only a possibility that penis size influences a woman’s ability to reach orgasm during intercourse.
In fact, there are many more possible explanations for female pleasure than penis size. For instance men with bigger penises might feel naturally more confident with women. They might have a different psychological and emotional approach to sex which is more likely to please a woman in bed or which may simply arouse women more.
In other words, it may not be penis size alone that enables a man to pleasure a woman sexually in bed. It may be something associated with it such as greater self-confidence, or greater sexual experience on the part of the man.
As the researcher concluded, male anxiety about penis size may not reflect cultural stereotype. In fact it may be an accurate, if unconscious, appreciation that size does matter to women.
What If You Want to Give Pleasure To A Woman?
If you are a man with a smaller penis than average, you can always level the playing field by making yourself an expert at pleasuring women in bed.
You can research the best sexual techniques for the woman you’re with. You can learn new ways to please her in bed.
Don’t allow your confidence be eroded by the thought of what other men are packing in their pants. Instead, develop greater self-confidence and become an expert in sexual techniques.
Top of the list of skills that a man needs to be able to please his partner is knowing ways to make a woman come.
That’s what you must be good at. If you are, and you’re also sensitive to her emotional needs, you need never worry about having a small penis. What a woman really wants from her man is to have a sexual connection in which she is cherished above all else. She wants to be deeply loved and to be pleasured in bed.
Vaginal and Clitoral Orgasms
The same journal – The Journal Of Sexual Medicine – published information in April 2012 suggesting there was “sensational” new evidence about the female orgasm. This article suggested that vaginal and clitoral orgasms are completely different types of orgasm, and that involve different parts of the brain.
This contrasts with so much information put out on the Internet saying vaginal orgasms are some kind of variation of a normal clitoral orgasm.
A common idea is that stimulating the inside of the vagina with a finger is simply stimulating a part of the clitoris which outside the vagina.
However, we know the G spot has a different nerve supply to the clitoris. (That’s the pudendal versus the pelvic nerve respectively.) It’s also quite likely that these different nerve pathways produce different orgasmic sensations in women and men alike.
The deeper pleasure a man gets from prostate stimulation could perhaps be equivalent to the stimulation of the G spot in women.
And maybe it doesn’t matter whether this is true or not, so long as a woman receives the sexual pleasuring she needs?
And, if you’re a woman who wants to enjoy vaginal orgasms, then please find out about the G spot and how to stimulate it. Both you and your man need to know how you can be stimulated most pleasurably in bed.
So what are these “sensational” conclusions?
Well, women can reach orgasm from both vaginal and clitoral stimulation. Yes, no surprise there.
(Some experts have suggested that the sensitive G spot, can actually reduce pain during birth / labor. You’ll know that if you’ve read about orgasmic birth on the Internet.)
And also, women who can obtain sexual pleasure through vaginal stimulation may have better physical and mental health than other women. No doubt.
Third: to contrast the two sides of this story: French gynaecologist Odile Buisson has said that stimulating the inside of the vagina is in fact a form of clitoral stimulation. While Stuart Brody, the psychologist at the University of West Scotland who was responsible for this research takes another view entirely. He says that spreading the idea women can only be pleasured to orgasm by stimulation of the clitoris is “malpractice”.
And Emmanuele Jannini, who is a professor of endocrinology at an Italian university, has another view. He says this is important work for women, but obsessively searching for proof of the G spot orgasm will reduce the happiness and pleasure women get from sex.
In the end, of course, all that really matters is that a man knows how to please his woman and is sensitive to her needs.